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Life with Body Dysmorphia

Updated: May 19, 2020

Since this week is #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek, I thought I would share some of my own personal experiences with you, to show you that you are not alone, that there are others out there who struggle, that it's okay not to be okay.


Let's face it, we live in a world where we are pressured to all look the same. Is this why we are all insecure? It's one of the reasons that I am.. anxiety plays a massive part in this, along with years of torment and bullying because of my appearance.

So, what is #BodyDysmorphia? Body dismorphia is a mental health condition where you spend an excessive amount of time worrying about your appearance or worry about a particular part of your body. For me, my main focus is my stomach, however, some days are worse than others. I will often find myself looking in the mirror too much, looking in shop windows as I walk past or even car windows to make sure I look ok. Is this because I am vain? No - this is because I am constantly beating myself up and wishing that I could be normal and accepted by others. Now, deep down, I know that I have nothing to worry about but that little voice in your head tells me otherwise and drives me to think the worst of myself. This morning was one of those days.I tried out multiple outfits, striking each and every one of them out as I felt that they drew attention to my undesriable areas. The combination of lockdown, comfort eating and stresses of being a key worker all piling up and becoming more of an issue for me in my mind. As I wandered aimlessly around the house - I knew I needed an out so I, along with my husband went for our daily walk.

Today we found ourselves walking along the coast of Hunstanton Beach, I always find such a calmness on the coast, the sand between your toes, the sounds of the sea and gulls nesting in the cliffs, the sensation of the cold water as you paddle along the shore and the warm breeze in blowing all of your cares away. I find that either a walk or going for a ride is a great way to clear my head when it comes to body dysmorphia. It allows me to get out of the house, get some fresh air and temporaily forget why I always worry. Ben also took some photos of me on our stroll, normally I would pick myself apart on each and every image, deleting them before they even got transfered to the PC. Today I decided against that. I posted photos that I wouldn't normally let anyone see - simply because - I do not need anyone else's approval, I only need my own. Remember - you are worth it, you are beautiful exactly how you are, you are a total badass! You've got this - don't let body dysmorphia take control.



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